"There are so many women like me, but they don’t speak about it" - Breaking the cycle of violence in Uganda

Uganda - When Alinda* got married, she quickly took on all the responsibilities that were expected of a wife. "I sweep and clean, I do the washing, I fetch water and wood," she says. 

When she became a mother, she added parenting to the list of duties, cooking for her three children and bathing them without help from her husband, John*. 

Now 20 years old, she says that life is difficult: "We grow maize, but often it fails because it is so dry. We have very little food and we are often hungry. This is what caused problems in our marriage," she explains.

"When we had a bit of food or money, my husband would take it. Sometimes we got help from World Food Programme, but he took that, too. When I asked my husband for the food or money, he got a stick and beat me. He asked for my forgiveness but it happened again and again."

Breaking the cycle

More than 55 per cent of women in Uganda experience violence at some point in their lifetime and almost half of Ugandan women believe that a husband is justified in hitting his wife in certain circumstances, according to demographic health surveys. Alinda knew that if she went to her family for help, they would only send her back to her husband. 

That's when she heard about a one-stop centre established by ActionAid with support from Spotlight Initiative. One-stop centres provide integrated medical, legal and psychosocial services to women and girls experiencing violence. 

"They helped me report my husband to the police and gave me medical support," says Alinda of the centre. "They comforted me and gave me counselling. They were with me every step of the way."

Alinda's husband was arrested and spent a month in jail. "The whole experience changed him completely," she says.

A new chapter

"Deep down, I've always known that it's wrong to hurt your wife, but anger often got the better of me," says John, who grew up witnessing violence between his mother and father.

"It wasn't until I was arrested that I realized I needed to change. Now, when disagreements arise, I make an effort to walk away and return only when I've calmed down. This simple action has made a big difference."

Alinda says the violence has stopped and that John has taken on more caregiving responsibilities.

"He helps look after the children and carries the water, something husbands don’t normally do," she says. "Today I feel safe. The women from ActionAid still come to our home to check on us."

She hopes that breaking the silence around gender-based violence will encourage more women to come forward.

"There are so many women like me who are beaten by their husbands, but many don’t speak about it – and very few ask for help," says Alinda*. I tell anyone who is open to it about the help I got at the one-stop centre because it changed everything for me."

*Names changed to protect privacy.

Adapted from 'Spotlight Initiative Africa Regional Programme: Stories of Change'.