Redefining manhood: How a father in Uganda grew to support his family in new ways 

KASESE DISTRICT, Uganda - Spotlight Initiative and UN Women use the SASA! (Start, Awareness, Support, and Action) Together Approach to support communities to prevent violence against women and girls and reduce HIV risk by addressing power imbalances between men and women. Through this approach, communities critically reflect on how power is used in relationships, families and society. Instead of blaming individuals, it encourages positive use of power - promoting respect, equality and non-violence.

Before joining the SASA! Together sessions, 48-year-old Valentino's growing use of alcohol was gradually destroying his family and draining his finances. “We had become strangers in our own home,” he admits of the house he shares with his wife and eight children, in the hilly village of Kibisire, Kitabu–Kyarumba Sub-County. “I didn’t care whether there was food left or not. To me, I thought I was just being ‘man enough’.” He described immense tension and conflict in the home. 

During the first SASA! learning sessions, Valentino was introduced to concepts on preventing violence against women and girls, family collaboration, practising shared decision-making, and using power positively in relationships. “When I returned home after the training, I told my wife, ‘It felt as though the trainers understood exactly what was happening in our home.’ At the beginning of the sessions, I felt uninterested. But as I listened to the messages, I began reflecting on the harm I was causing in my own household because of my perceived ‘power’ as a man.”

Taking action together 

Encouraged by what he had learned, dynamics around household finances shifted. Valentino and his wife, Jane, set aside 100,000 Ugandan shillings (approximately $28) for Jane to start a coffee trading business. Although initially skeptical about her husband’s change in behaviour, Jane began making profits from the business, which also helped cover school requirements for their eight children.

The family also embarked on a brick-making project to construct their dream home. “We are now in the first phase of our brick-making project, where we expect to produce 20,000 bricks. We will sell these bricks to buy building materials such as cement, iron sheets and timber,” Valentino says with a smile. He hopes to start building their house after selling the second batch of bricks.

Building partnerships, inspiring change

Alongside these more peaceful and equal dynamics at home, the couple has seen their children develop and grow, one has qualified as a health worker, another is an electrician and one is an agriculturalist. “We are now supporting each other as a family more than ever. My other five children are also progressing well in school,” he adds. The family has planted coffee and cocoa on their three acres of land, which they hope will boost their income and improve their livelihoods in the near future.

Because of his positive behaviours, Valentino now serves as the Local Council 1 Chairman of his village, Kibisire. “My community members entrusted me with this leadership role because they saw me as a changed family man,” Valentino shared. Through the learning sessions, he gained skills that enabled him to transform his community. They are shifting away from alcohol and harmful behaviours, to being responsible family men. Today, he continues to support his community members through  counselling and guidance on family matters.